A Straits Times News Article on:China Brides,Chinese Brides,Asian Brides,Hainan Brides,Foreign Brides

The Straits Times
Publication Date : 2006-02-19

Singaporean Ben Han and his China-born wife Serene Chen are the picture of marital bliss.

They have matching looks - both are slightly plump, have small eyes and cheerful personalities.

While posing for photos, Ms Chen pats her camera-shy husband reassuringly as the two smile lovingly at each other.

Four years ago, the couple were matchmade by relatives. Mr Han, then a forex broker, visited Hainan for two months to get to know his potential wife, who was then a salesgirl.

Three months later, Ms Chen moved to Singapore and the couple wed.

Now, husband and wife are also business partners. Inspired by the success of their own match, they set up Blissful Marriage Consultants, a matchmaking agency in Golden Wall Centre in Short Street, in 2004.

Its aim? To find Hainanese women as mates for Singaporean bachelors.

A tall order, perhaps, given the current scepticism and stereotypes surrounding China women who are often accused of destroying marriages, being fraudsters who use matrimony as a step to permanent residency or running away with the man's money.

Regrettably, many make the news for all the wrong reasons.

Two weeks ago, a 22-year-old medical student from Chongqing emerged as the mysterious companion of a 43-year-old Singaporean businessman who was stabbed in Desaru.

In fact, a check with marriage agencies showed that Blissful is one of a small handful left which matchmake China brides to Singaporean men.

There are no available statistics on the number of marriages between China women and Singaporean men as the authorities do not release nationality-specific figures.

But such marriages have been taking place, with some unions made possible by such agencies.

Industry players estimate that there are about 30 active marriage aid bureaus in the market.

Of this number, the majority now deals with Vietnamese and Cambodian brides, leaving fewer than 10 agencies which focus on China brides.

This figure is a far cry from about 10 years ago, when matchmakers started bringing China brides to local shores.

During that boom, there were probably twice this number of matchmakers dealing with the China market, say agencies.

Now, many of these agencies have either disappeared or switched their focus to Vietnam and Cambodia.

Women from these countries are now more popular among Singaporean bride-seekers as they are generally more docile and less demanding than China brides, say agencies.

Sources say the number of agencies in the China bride business has petered out for two possible reasons.

First, agencies like Life Partner Matchmaker in Parklane Shopping Mall do not want to have to deal with their negative reputation.

When Mr Janson Ong took over the agency from its former owner three years ago, he decided to ditch its old business model and not focus on China brides anymore.

Life Partner, which was set up in 1996, now specialises in Vietnamese and Cambodian brides.

A handful of his customers are men who were duped by China brides and have returned to Mr Ong to be matchmade.

"Customers are not keen on China brides anymore because they feel many of them don't intend to get married. They simply want to get their PR status," says Mr Ong.

"They also create a bad image for the matchmaking industry."

Second, many China women seeking husbands here now come to Singapore on their own, says Mr Mark Lin, owner of Vietnam Brides International Matchmaker in Beach Road which focuses only on Vietnamese and Cambodian brides.

"The young, pretty ones are perfectly capable of coming by themselves.

In the end, the agency will get mostly older, divorced women like pei du mamas (study mamas)," he says.

Like Mr Ong, his four-year-old agency has dealt with 20 to 30 cases of men whose marriages to China brides broke down.

Nevertheless, the few agencies which buck the trend say they still believe in the "virtuous" China bride.

Agencies LifeStyle spoke to - six in all - countered the negativity with this: China is a populous nation and not all the women who seek mates here are unscrupulous and money-grubbing.

"We may all eat from the same rice bowl, but it doesn't mean we are all the same people," says Ms Zhang Jun, owner of matchmaker Oriental Fayuan in Zion Road.

Mr Han and other agencies like Hainan Match Maker say they deal only with brides from Hainan because clever but family-oriented women are said to hail from there.

These could also be women who hold "respectable jobs and who are not as poor as Singaporeans think they are", says Mr Han.

Generally, agencies say a distinction needs to be made between simpler women who come from more rural parts of China and their urban counterparts who tend to be more materialistic.

And although most do not deny the presence of bad eggs among China women, the industry claims to have shaped up its practices to ensure only women who are sincere about marriage make the cut.

Blissful, for instance, does not believe in "cash and carry", where brides are lined up in the agencies' offices to be picked by a prospective "buyer".

They do business by appointment and referrals only. Walk-in customers, usually women on a social visit pass who are looking to get married quickly, are "not encouraged".

Mr Han also does background checks on potential China brides by acquiring information from their local government offices.

Still, there is no industry standard on this.

Other agencies like Sweet Heart Marriage Agency in Victoria Street say they do accept Chinese women who walk in to seek husbands, but assess the customer's background thoroughly through interviews before signing them up.

Some agencies were formed by people who were formerly matchmade themselves and, they say, have the instinct to sieve out errant brides.

Besides Blissful, Fate Marriage Agent in People's Park Centre is run by a Fujian native who was matchmade to a Singaporean man 10 years ago.

Declining to reveal her full name, Kelly says potential clients are usually more upfront with her.

'I'm a Chinese woman too, so if they want to marry an old man with money, they will tell me straight out.'

Such unions do work out at times, but if the girl is too insistent on nabbing a rich man, she tells them to "go to Geylang".

Similarly, Oriental's Ms Zhang, who has been married to a Singaporean man for 11 years, makes sure she manages the expectations of China brides.

"I don't tell them that Singapore is so fantastic and that they get to live in a big house.

If I tell them the man earns only $2,000 a month, what money does he have for them to cheat?"

All claimed to have encountered few divorce cases. But then not all agencies keep track of what happens to their clients.

Fate's Kelly says she has come across only one divorce case in her seven years of business.

"But that was with a man who could not consummate the marriage."

Ultimately, the onus is on the couple - not the matchmakers - to make their marriage work.

Says Mr Han: "When marriages fail, men sometimes blame everyone but themselves.

It is true that there are women who make use of their looks to charm men into marriage, but sometimes the men don't know how to make their marriage work as well."

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